Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
