some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
