if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
