I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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