Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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