Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she told me i tasted like america
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i think i just lost a toe
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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