that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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