worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
