you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
