Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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