u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
