do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
