HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
