smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
