I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
