I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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