I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
