Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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