I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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