I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
