Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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