shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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