People in love make me want to vomit
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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