have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
