I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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