guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
