I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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