She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
