im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
