just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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