He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you will always have a special place in my vag
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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