Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
