He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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