Will you blow on my dice?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
