I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
