GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
