We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
