Welp...herpes.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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