If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
