i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
