cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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