I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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