I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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