that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
