5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
