Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
