I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
