just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
