Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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