I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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